Match: Knutsford 3rd Away to Crewe Vagrants 4

Date: 04.11.2010

Knutsford 3rd team, unbeaten so far this season, travelled to Crewe. Another week without the regular Capt Jacko. (Aren't Thursdays important anymore?) Much discussion in Tim's car on the way there regarding tactical order of play.

Mr Hindley pleading a case not to play the drop shot kid he played earlier in the season for the 4ths. So first on at 4 was Tony much relieved to find that the drop shot kid was absent. Tony slipped on his favourite pair of comfortable Hush Puppies for a gentle stroll around the court with Rob Darby. Not quite hand in hand but Rob kept close enough to view Tony's fine array of drops, boats and tight drives. An effortless 3-0 to
Tony and he padded off court. NB Tony found a sudden increase of speed as he headed off for a quick shower and the bar to make the most of being a non driver for the evening.

Next Tim Slater strode onto court proudly wearing his KSC polo shirt, an example to all team players perhaps! (Shirts still available via John Ward.) After making hard going of winning the first two games he then proceeded to have a 'Tippy Tappy' game of squash with his opponent up against the front wall. As the crowd on Slater Hill cried 'Come on Tim' he faded into oblivion and completely forgot to ask for stroke after
stroke and lost the next three games! Poor Tim trudged off to the car park looking for a Birch twig to beat himself with.

Captain for one night only Snapey arrived on court next to play the youthful Andy Pugh. They have met before with Snapey taking the honours. Would the burden of Captaincy put old Snapey off? Worry not squash fans Snapey stood his ground against youth and played a nice array of shots that put the young Andy under pressure and making several unforced errors. A comfortable win 3-0. On the adjacent court Graham the Hunter was knocking up strategically placed at 5 against Steve Mulliner who bore an uncanny resemblance to David 'open wide please' Waring. Ever been to Crewe on a boys night out David? Graham rushed through after losing the first game 2-9 proclaiming to the crowd ' I'M PLAYING A RINGER'...'YOU GOTTA COME AND SEE THIS'. Bleary eyed, Graham was sent back onto court to lose the second game 1-9. He fought back. Dug deep and won the next two games but just couldn't win the fifth losing out 7-9. Good effort though Graham.

So at two a piece on came Smithy our number one, on temporary loan from the 2nd's. Running late after a spot of child minding whilst his wife was out drinking coffee with the ladies! The two number one's started playing like number 101's. This was not nice to watch but that was the way it continued. A see saw game with each player winning two games by at least 6 points each game. Smithy refusing to leave the court between games. Much preferring to give himself a stern talking to in the far corner of the court. Alas to no avail he crashed out 0-9 in the fifth, what a shame! Smithy left the court and walked off into the car park in search of Tim's Birch twig.

So match over and a narrow 2-3 loss. Points on the board though and Cpt Jacko on his mobile from somewhere on the M6 was given the news. Nice curry with cheese & biscuits to follow. As the visitors loaded up the cars to head home it gave Smithy just enough time to lure a couple of the opposition into a corner of the bar to show them the new Powerplay 2011 collection. What a result, another lucrative deal closed. I think we've found your next apprentice Lord Sugar!

Scorecard